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Diversion Therapy

It’s spring, both officially and in the air. The sun streaming through our windows brings comfort. But the shining sun also highlights the dust bunnies. All of them. And there are many.

bunny of dustWhile in a downward dog this morning, I glanced to my right. Big mistake. There, under the couch, a nightmare. Later, my hand swiped the counter and, whoa, what was that? More dust? Seriously? I cleaned it last night. I can’t even talk about the feet on my kitchen stools. It’s like dust bunnies go there to meet other dust bunnies.

As an organizer whose home has a place for everything, what I don’t have room for is dust. Yet there it is, everywhere, haunting me. No matter how many times I vacuum, Swiffer and mop, they remain, hiding in plain sight. The worse thing is that they keep me from focusing on work. I need to wipe them away before I can do anything.

In college, my roommate Stacey and I were easily distracted by our sweaters. Those lilting piles called out to us to be refolded. We ignored them, looked away, even turned our backs in our tiny Z-Room in Kennedy Hall, but at some point it became fruitless. Inevitably, we put down our pencils and Texas Instrument calculators, and refolded them, planning to get right back to our X’s and Y’s. But once the sweaters were refolded, the T-shirts now looked messy in comparison and so, well, we had no choice but to refold those as well.

Of course these chores didn’t take long, but it did take us away from our work. All these years later I find myself once again distracted. This time by dust. (Well, today anyway, I did the sweaters last week).

It’s easy to get sidetracked during the course of the day. It’s life. How then, do you keep your butt in the seat? There’s no one solution, the trick is finding what works for you. Today that solution is a big, fat bribe. If I get my blog done, plus a few other items crossed off my To Do list, then I can go for a bike ride later this afternoon and enjoy this beautiful spring day.

Until then, the dust bunnies can wait.

Pick a Card. Any Card.

donnie and marieI remember many gifts I received as a child. The purple clad Donnie and Marie Osmond dolls, my first bike with the banana seat, and the pink cassette boom box. But the most memorable gifts were the ones that had my name on them. Like the pencils ordered off the back of a cereal box or the pair of barrettes I wore in middle school, even when the “e” at the end peeled off and my friends called me “Felic” with a hard c. (Some of them still call me that.)

But my favorite were the personalized business cards my dad got me when I turned ten. This was way before VistaPrint. In 1980, business cards were a big deal. Well, they were to me. They weren’t for networking or to give to clients (I was ten, remember?), but they did represent my likes. And at ten, those were Math Puzzles Tennis and Reading. What’s remarkable is aside from the fact all these years later I still enjoy those activities, I remain a multi like/occupation person – author, blogger, organizer, and artist.

biz cards

Business cards over the years. The center one is from 1980.

As it happens I’m in the middle of a job change (the job that pays some bills and affords me benefits until my “likes” start paying). As I update my resume, I am trying something out of the box. I am ordering new business cards now. You see, most people get their business cards after they’ve landed a job, but what if we ordered them before? A kind of “If you print it, it will come” Zen wishing system.

If you are not currently working at your dream job, why not create a business card that lists that dream job. Business cards are inexpensive enough and can be at your door the next day. Many people believe that putting your dreams out into the Universe will help them come to fruition. What have you got to lose?

Happy Anniversary

4thFour years. That’s 48 months. It also happens to be an anniversary. My blog’s. Not that I remembered. Linked In’s algorithm did. And it announced it to my entire “network” of connections. It wasn’t until I began receiving “Congrats!” messages was I even aware such a thing existed.

In the spirit of celebrating my “work anniversary” I want to reflect back on the last four years. In 2011, after a certain YouTube video “outed” my organizing skills to the world, I began the blog “Get Organized. It’s About Time.” as a way to share tips and answer my reader’s questions on clearing out their own clutter. But it has slowly evolved from the how to be organized into the why. That’s the reason I changed the name of the blog to “Living Large in Any Size,” because living with less stuff and less clutter allows you to get more out of life, and for me that’s more time to do the things I love.

Over these four years (or 208 weeks) I’ve written 218 blogs, this being the 218th! For someone who likes to downsize, that’s a lot of words. While this may mark a four-year milestone, I’ve been honing these skills for 25 years. From college dorm rooms to two-car garages to a college president’s office, I’ve brought order to many a disorganized situation. The one thing I’ve learned in all this time and through all the separating out of the wheat from the chaff is that it liberates us a bit to live the life we want. I may still occasionally write about the best way to tackle an untidy linen closet or an adventure through my grandfather’s Tupperware cabinet, but the message is perhaps really about creating space for new experiences. And one thing is for sure, you can never have too many of those.

Thank you for your feedback and support all these years.

Felice

Spring Awakening

chairsAh yes. Finally. It’s here. Spring. How good it feels to open windows and release stale air, toss worn out scarves and random items found in the backs of drawers. Spring brings with it a rejuvenation and every year there’s no better feeling.

Last week I was on Cape Cod. I woke early to birds singing and the sun streaming through the blinds in my old bedroom. Temps hovered around 50. Outside the air was crisp, but not too cold. In the backyard shed, I removed all eight deck chairs, still stacked as neatly as I’d left them last fall. Pounding off the stale air and dirt from a long winter’s hibernation felt good, the action filled with the promise of a new season ahead. Once the chairs were back around the glass porch table, I pictured family and friends, the aroma from the grill, and the sound of laughter. As much as I have become a New Yorker, the Cape Codder in me remains strong. My license plate may beg to differ, but my car knows where her home is.

talkThat afternoon I headed to Orleans for the first of two talks, having been invited to speak about my grandparents’ experiences in the Holocaust on what was the 70th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz. The first was to 200 eighth graders at Nauset Middle School, the second that evening to another large crowd from the Nauset Interfaith Association. During each talk it occurred to me how fitting that the war had ended during springtime.

“Survivors were, yes, happy to be free,” I said to both audiences. “But happy may not be the right word. Maybe relieved is more accurate. Yet that relief was quickly replaced with the harsh reality that for many, they were the only one in their family to have survived. For them, the spring of 1945 was, quite literally, a rebirth, a time to start again.”

(W)holy Moly!

Why is it easier to focus on the negative rather than the positive? For New Yorkers, it’s par for the course, but plenty of others see the glass half-empty. Is it possible to switch our outlook? My vote is yes.

bagelTake for example when you diet. Your first instinct is to focus on what you can’t eat. Ice Cream! Cookies! Pizza! The trick is to focus on foods you can eat. My sister Meredith and I are now trying the Whole30 Program where you cut out carbs, dairy and sugar for 30 days. It’s not a diet, but a “nutritional reset, designed to…end unhealthy cravings and habits, restore a healthy metabolism, heal your digestive tract, and balance your immune system.” For 30 days I can do anything. That’s not to say it isn’t going to be hard.

On Day One all I could think about was bread. It felt like everyone on the street was eating a gigantic bagel. So I changed my focus to what I could eat. Mangos! Salmon! Almond butter/banana/flax/raisin/coconut snacks! Oh boy.

vegieIt’s like when I moved into the 90 square foot apartment. At first I thought, “I can’t sit up in bed!” “I can’t make scrambled eggs!” Then I realized I could complain or look at what I could do, such as walk outside and be in Central Park or get delicious sushi across the street. There was a learning curve, but in no time I came to love that apartment which is why I stayed almost 5 years.

It takes effort to stick to any challenge, but already the benefits are showing. Aside from trying new foods, I can feel my willpower getting stronger, which will help with my next challenge, whatever that is. Plus, I am already beginning to see the glass half full, even if that glass is filled with water and not a hot chai latte with skim milk.

Everything Old is New Again

I recently watched the pilot of new television show called Younger. It’s about a woman in her forties who wants to go back to work after taking time off to raise her daughter, but is unable to land a job since now she’s “old.” When a man in his twenties mistakes her for being his age and tries to pick her up in a bar, her friend has an idea: give her a makeover. As part of the “makeover” sequence to turn her into a believable 20-something, they change her hair, her clothes and even her email address from AOL to GMAIL. That’s when I laughed out loud.

aol logoMany times my younger sister (12 years younger, thank you very much!) has given me grief for still using AOL. Now before you toss me into the same category as those who still use flip phones and Blackberries, let me explain. I do have a GMail account, but only use it occasionally because it’s cumbersome and time consuming. There’s too much text everywhere and it’s hard to quickly spot the “reply” and “forward” buttons, let alone search for a past email. The nature of email itself igmail logos already a “time suck,” I don’t have more time to waste figuring out how to use it. As a professional organizer whose goal is to always save time, Gmail simply doesn’t help me with that. But AOL does. It’s neat and it’s superior in the organization of its layout.

Now the brains behind Google are way above average, but they lack good old fashioned organizing skills. If anyone out there reading this happens to be in charge of the Gmail layout, drop me an email, I would be happy to offer my services. But please, make sure to use my AOL address so it doesn’t get lost.

A Portrait of the Artist as a 93-Year-Old Man

A few days after I returned from a recent visit to see my grandfather, he called me.20150223_114534

“When are you coming back?” he asked. I laughed, the laundry from my trip still in the hamper.

Life is getting harder for Papa. Nearing 94, his body is wearing down while his daily pill count is going up, resembling a bag of Skittles. His mind is still sharp, though the edges have softened. Like many elderly, his days are the same, mirror images of the one before. One burden of growing older is feeling like there’s nothing to look forward to, so it’s no surprise many elderly take 20150225_104608anti-depressants.

During this last visit, on a whim I placed a piece of white paper and black marker in front of Papa. Then I put a glass vase filled with roses on the table. “Draw this,” I told him.

“What do I know from drawing?” he said. The only thing my grandfather ever drew was a list of which customers at his grocery store owed him money.

“Just try,” I said. He lifted the marker; his arthritic knuckles gripping it gently. Then he rested his h20150309_110433ead in his left hand and drew. I wasn’t expecting Picasso. I wasn’t expecting anything more than what the exercise might give him. Papa finally put down the marker. It wasn’t Picasso. It was better. Because for those few minutes he forgot about the aches and pains, about his time coming to an end and the horrible memories still struggling for space inside his head.

“Excellent!” I told him, and stuck it to the fridge. The next day he drew a white porcelain figurine of a rooster. Before I left I told him to keep drawing. And he has. Daily pictures and videos are sent to me of the artist in residence. Although Papa draws with his head heavy in his hand, while he creates he forgets about everything else. He now has a new focus.

Having a project can often help us get through whatever struggles we may face, no matter if we’re 19 or 93.

What Papa Fed Me

My grandfather has been feeding me since I was a baby. There are pictures of him spoon-feeding me oatmeal, though most of the oatmeal is on my face.

At age eight, on visits to Papa in Brooklyn, I began working at his grocery store and lunch breaks were the highlight. Standing behind the enormous deli counter, Papa made me a (“Don’t tell Nana!”) ham sandwich. Delish.

As I grew older, during visits to Papa and Nana, meals were a major focus. At some point, when Nana wasn’t looking, Papa snuck food from his plate onto mine, claiming he was full. I, being the good granddaughter, ate it. In the last few years Papa’s appetite has diminished even more. At 93, every basic human function brings discomfort, swallowing among them.

papa foodDuring this week’s visit down in Florida, on my first morning, when the aid walked out of the kitchen, Papa’s hand darted out. Suddenly there was half a hard-boiled egg on my plate. First of all, who knew his reflexes could still move that fast? Second, as per my usual routine, I ate it. When the aid returned and saw his empty plate she said, “Good job Murray.” Papa and I shared a knowing smile.

But as the days passed, I learned it was dangerous for Papa’s health if he didn’t get enough protein. The aid and my uncle Mark (often sounding like they’re scolding a stubborn boy who won’t clear his plate) are forceful, because as a diabetic Papa needs the nutrition.

On my last morning, the same situation presented itself. The aid left the kitchen and out shot Papa’s arm. Yes, I want to make my grandfather’s life easier, but eating his food would only make things harder. I put the food back on his plate. “You need the protein,” I said. The look he gave me tore through my heart. After 40 years I had turned on him.

There’s something ironic when a Holocaust survivor refuses to eat. Often when an elderly person doesn’t want to eat, it means they don’t want to live. But as a survivor Papa doesn’t know how not to survive. Every day, through aches and pains, he’s still surviving. It’s all he knows. When I put the egg back on his plate, he sighed in defeat. He had no choice. He ate it.

Past is Present

With the extreme cold, doing errands in the city on foot requires more than just a To Do list; it requires that list to be numbered in the right order so it saves you from getting frostbite. This made a friend of mine ask, “When did you get to be so well-organized?” I thought it over for all of one second.

newspaper girlI was eleven. That’s when I got a paper route. Taking it over from an older boy, he warned me I had big shoes to fill, “Cause you know, you’re a girl.” But I had a bike, a metal rack on the back, and determination.

After school and weekend mornings, I plunked a stack of Cape Cod Times newspapers into my bike rack and pedaled off, following the route the boy had shown me. After a few weeks I wondered if there was a more efficient course, since I wanted to watch General Hospital at my friend Leslie’s house.

So I drew a map of the route and numbered the homes in the order I thought quickest. By delivering to all the homes on the right side of the street first and then those on the left on the way back (instead of running back and forth across the street as the “genius” before me had done) shaved off minutes.

Mind you, this was in the days before newspapers were tossed onto driveways. I actually had to plgirl bikeace the newspaper inside the screen door. So I took note of any houses that had tricky doors, steps, ferocious dogs, etc. to calculate extra time. And when all 30 homes had their newspapers, I’d pedal off like a bat out of hell to Leslie’s in hopes of getting there before Luke and Laura shared their first kiss.

A year later I handed the paper route over to a friend, along with my bike rack and, by this time, the crumpled map. I was in Middle School and had moved on to more important undertakings like basketball and softball. I was also done with Luke and Laura. Looking back, I appreciate the efficiency I mastered, a skill I still use daily, and not just with errands. But more than that, I appreciate the rapid pedaling, as those leg muscles have held up just as long as the lessons.

Almost Spring

imagesShadow or no shadow, I’ve got my eye on the prize: Spring. March 20, the first day according to my trusted At-A-Glance calendar. Whether there are still piles of snow on street corners or I’m still sporting a fleece-lined hat and mittens, somehow, just the mere thought of flowers soon abloomin’ sends a warmth right through me.

We are now four weeks past the New Year. How are your resolutions going? Still hitting the gym? Still forgoing a second helping at dinner? Still writing away on that novel? I hear ya. It’s not easy. Especially when the temperature is plummeting, snow is falling and all you’d really like to do is put on comfy sweats, read a good book (okay, watch The Americans) and snack. Like I said, I hear ya.

That’s why I’m not so concerned when New Year’s Resolutions have a way of slipping through my fingers. I joke and call winter “Fat Season.” Not really because of any extra pounds, but because it’s hard to get motivated to do anything when your toes are numb.

UnknownWhich is why I love Groundhog Day. Aside from watching grown men in top hats tempt fate (and a bit off finger) by looking to a rodent to predict the weather, it’s a reminder that we’re almost there. Just six more weeks. And six is only one more than all the fingers on one hand. Somehow knowing that spring is around the corner perks me up, because for me, spring is not just a noun it’s a verb. Hearing that spring is coming actually puts a spring in my step. It encourages me to hit the gym in preparation for outdoor 30-mile bicycle rides. It pushes me to make plans with friends after weeks of winter hibernation, and it reinvigorates me to keep chugging along writing a new book. I bet Mother Nature feels the same way. Maybe she spends a week or two in Florida around the holidays, but now begins her busy season. Moving her production crew underground, she must prepare to get those leaves on the trees and flowers out of the ground on time.

But alas, it is still winter and we still have six more weeks of it. So until then, bundle up and smile because you know what? It’s almost spring.

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