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Then I Remember

March 20, 2020

fmailySomeone, please wake me up and tell me this is a dream.

Each morning I open my eyes and for one second think, “What a crazy nightmare.” Then I remember.

There are moments during my day when nothing seems amiss. I still work from home, still make my bed, still start my day with meditation.

My days are broken up with six-mile walks around the city. Either along the Hudson River, around Central Park, or sometimes I pick an avenue and just go. And for a moment, the city looks the same, sounds the same, smells the same and my mind, which is having a hard time wrapping around this new reality, tricks me into thinking it’s an early Sunday morning and everyone is sleeping. But then I see a “closed” sign on a Starbucks in the middle of a workday and I remember.

I do the walks for exercise, but also for the normalcy it brings. People walking dogs, birds singing, flowers blooming has a calming effect. It’s spring, but this exciting time of the year when we open windows, clean out closets and make plans for summer feels hollow.

I’ve stopped thinking, “Last week I was raking leaves in Central Park.” “Last month I went to the theater three times in a week.” Now the days pass like a scene from the movie “Groundhog Day,” each day mimicking the day before. If we had a hard date of when this would be over, we might feel a little calmer, knowing we can get through this for 20 days. It’s the unending of it that makes my brain spiral into fear, and fear is not what we need right now. We need comfort and support. Then I remember. I have that.

I started a weekly Zoom call with family and friends. Seeing the familiar, loving faces of those who make me feel hopeful and happy is exactly what we need right now.

Wishing you good health and safety.

Sending a virtual hug.



From → Uncategorized

  1. Julie Bernstein permalink

    Great post. Always enjoy reading your writings. Stay healthy! Shabbat shalom

  2. Marilyn Solomon permalink

    Great post! Miss you but love hearing about you and your family. We arrived home yesterday afternoon and are in quarantine for 14 days. The kids are shopping for us. After we get organized I will do lots of decluttering (spelt wrong but I’m tired 😴). Stay well and safe and do some walking for me. Hugs to all the family 🤗🤗🤗 Sent from my iPhone


  3. naomi nomikos permalink

    Hey Felice Good to hear from you. Stay well, Naomi and Jimmy


  4. Edes Gilbert permalink

    On Wednesday Chris, Curry, Talcott and I had a candlelight dinner together thanks to Zoom. Yesterday my Pilates instructor and I had a great session also via Zoom. Technology can be our friend so we stay connected with family and friends as you say so well. Times like these remind us of what matters. It’s not reality TV and celebrity. Or our zip codes. Or our bank accounts. It’s us

    Thanks for your caring , wise message.




  5. Rosalie permalink

    Glad to read your prose again. We took a five mile walk by the Pacific today. Everyone is out and about!

    Going to work too. We’ve been busy and I’m hoping that Prez Trump’s efforts will come up with a vaccination ASAP. He will be the “savior of the world“ if that happens although God is our Savior.


    Regards to your dad! We had the best conversation on a walk near Bryce Canyon!

    Rosalie E. Olson


  6. Maxine Bornstein permalink

    Felice, Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. We are all in this together and must stay together and stay strong. What a beautiful family picture! Sending love to you all, Maxine and family

    PS Sara and her family live in Riverdale. Always feel free to be in Touch with her. sarafayebv@

    Sent from my iPhone


  7. Michael Gnat permalink

    ELBOW-xo to you! MG

  8. Richard Cohen permalink

    Felice, your experience of the abiding recollections of the sights and sounds and smells of Central Park leaf cleaning are like the comforting memories of warm madelines in remembrances of things past. Genius. We are happy to be included on that tray of warm madelines. Love, Dad

  9. Lori Pitteruff permalink

    Stay safe Felice!

  10. Joe F permalink

    I found that your story left me a little sadden for the memories of what we were accepting then, for granted. You strucked a chord in my mind of past good times. Thank you for that. You have a talent that knows how to effect the human being. Again, thank you. Stay healthy, stay safe for you and the family.

  11. danaboll permalink

    Hi Felice.. sending you a hug. xox Dana

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